Who Would Have Thought
by Trippy Libby
Summary: Cartman deals with the loss of Kenny in a not so good way. Until, he finds a book that contains a ressurection spell. Rating for male/male relations.
1. The Loss

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park. I'm not that lucky.  
  
A/N: This is a little mini series that I came up with about my two favorite South Park characters, Kenny and Cartman. This first part takes place after the episode when Chef takes Cartman to his parents' house to get Kenny's soul taken out of him and he gets stuck in the pot roast. Man, I really felt sorry for Kenny in that episode. Let me take this time to warn you all now though, this will be a gay fic. Yes, a gay fic between Kenny and cartman. I've always noticed how close those were, despite the insults and the ill treatment between them. I'm sure you all noticed how Cartman took a shit when Chef said that the pot roast with Kenny's soul was left in the airport. It always seemed to me that they shared a special and deep friendship. That's why I thought it would be cool to do a fic about Kenny and Cartman as lovers. Now, older fans would probably understand (somewhat) where I'm coming from, whereas the newer fans might say something like, "that's sick, Libby!" Or, "Cartman and Kenny aren't gay! Thay always rag on gay people, like Mr. Garrison!" Well, like Chef said in the Death Camp of Tolerance episode, "There's gay people, and there's Mr. Garisson." Well, keep in mind that the next part will progress 8 years into the future when the boys are about 16. Cartman will have matured a bit by then. Well, if you don't feel comfortable reading about gay relationships, then I strongely suggest that you do not read this mini series, and if you do, please be mature about it. If not, then don't say I didn't give you a fair warning. If you flame me, hey that's ok, I'll just laugh and continue writing anyway. Well, with all that bullshit (finally) out of the way, on with the story.  
  
  
[Outside Cartman's house]  
  
Cartman and his mom pull up into their drive way. After they park, we see a very depressed Cartman get out of the passenger seat. Liane opens the door and Cartman goes straight to his room.  
  
[Inside Cartman's room]  
  
"Damn-it! I don't fucking believe this shit! I wanted Kenny soul out of me so that we could find him another body so that he could live again! Not have him eaten by Rob Schneider! Damn-it! Now I may never get to see him again! Poor Kenny, he was so exicted about being alive again! We were even gonna surprise Stan and Kyle, but now, everything's ruined!" Cartman exclaimed.  
  
He hits his pillow with his fist before breaking into tears. He throws his head into his pillow and starts crying and sobbing hard.  
  
[Knocking can be heard outside Cartman's door.]  
  
"Eric hun, are you alright?" Liane asked.  
  
"Yes, mom. I'm just a little tired, that's all." Cartman said.  
  
He sniffs and wipes a few tears away with his sleeve.  
  
"Well, dinner's ready hun." Liane said.  
  
Cartman sighs and sits up.  
  
"No thanks mom. I'm not really hungry right now. I just wanna sleep for a little while." Cartman said.  
  
"Oh, ok hun. Come down and eat whenever you fell up to it." Liane said.  
  
"ok, mom." Cartman said.  
  
[Footsteps can be heard walking away.]  
  
Cartman dug his head into his pillow and began to cry again.  
  
"Kenny, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for things to be this way." Cartman whispered.  
  
[ouside Cartman's room]  
  
Liane comes back with a plate of food in her hands. She opens the door and finds that Cartman had fallen asleep. She sighs and places the plate on his nightstand. She moved some hair away from his eyes and saw that his face was tearstained and that his pillow was damp.  
  
"Oh, my poor baby. He's really upset about the loss of his little friend. I wish there was something I could do. I hate seeing him like this." Liane said to herself.  
  
Liane puts the bed covers over Cartman, kisses him on the forehead and gets up. She gets to the door and turns on a little nightlight. She leaves and closes the door behind her.  
  
[Outside Cartman's room]  
  
Liane walks downstairs and the phone rings just as she gets to the kitchen.  
  
"Oh, now who can that be at this hour?" Liane asked herself.  
  
She walks up to the phone and picks up the reciever.  
  
"Hello, Cartman residence." Liane said.  
  
The screen splits in half and Chef can be seen on the other end.  
  
"Mrs. Cartman? It's Chef. How's Eric holding out?" Chef asked.  
  
Oh, not good, I'm afraid! He's really upset! He went straight to his room and cried himself to sleep! He won't even eat!" Liane exclaimed.  
  
"Oh, my god! Eric's not eating?! Oh, this is serious!" Chef exclaimed.  
  
"Oh Chef, what am I gonna do? Eric is my whole world, I don't what I'd do if anything were to ever happen to him. I can just imagine how poor Susan McCormick must feel. She really loved her son and she lost him to a terrible illness." Liane said.  
  
"Yeah, that was really sad. Kenny was a good kid. I feel bad for the family, too. Well, I really don't know what to tell you Liane, expect to just give Eric a little time. Give him a chance to grieve the loss, I'm sure he'll come around sooner or later." Chef said.  
  
"Oh, I do hope you're right, Chef." Liane said.  
  
"Well, tomorrow is Salisbury Steak day at school. Maybe that'll cheer up a bit." Chef said.  
  
"Yes. Maybe it will." Liane said.  
  
"Well, don't worry about it, Liane. He'll come around evenually, you'll see. Eric's a strong boy, and he's got two other really great friends who'll help him get through this." Chef said.  
  
"Yes, Stan and Kyle are both really good boys, as well." Liane said.  
  
"Well Liane, I'm going to let you go. Just called to see how you two were doing." Chef said.  
  
"Alright, Chef. Goodnight, and thank you so much for everything." Liane said.  
  
"No problem. Goddnight Liane." Chef said.   
  
"Bye Chef." Liane said.  
  
They hang up the screen becomes whole again.   
  
[Chef's room]  
  
"I hope Eric's gonna be alright. He Took Kenny's death pretty damn hard. I always knew that deep down inside, Eric really did care about Stan, Kyle, and Kenny. He just won't admit to it openly. Not yet, anyways. I hope I see him at school tommorow." Chef said.  
  
Chef turns off his light and goes to bed.  
  
[Cartman's house]  
  
Liane goes up to Cartman's room to check up on him one more time.  
  
[inside Cartman's room]  
  
Liane walks in and notices that the plate of food is half eaten. She sighs in relief.  
  
"Well, at least he ate something. Thank god." Liane said.  
  
Liane picks up the plate and is about to walk out when she hears Cartman moan softly. She turns around to find Cartman wiping eyes.  
  
"Mom?" Cartman asked in a soft whisper.  
  
"Yes baby? What is it?" Liane aasked.  
  
"Can I have a glass of water, please?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Of course, hun. You wait here. I'll be right back." Liane said.  
  
"Thanks mom." Cartman said.  
  
Liane leaves and Cartman lies back down. He just stars at the ceiling for a moment, and smiles as a thought hits him.  
  
"This isn't over yet, Kenny. Your soul is still within another body, so there's still a chance I could bring you back. One day, I'll find a way to bring you back. Then everything will be right again." Cartman said.  
  
He closes his eyes, and falls asleep again.  
  
[Outside Cartman's room]  
  
Liane is coming upstairs with a glass of water. She opens the door to find that Cartman has fallen asleep again. She puts the glass on his nightstand and smiles when she notices the peaceful look on Cartman's face.  
  
"Rest baby. You've been through a rough day, but everything will alright, I promise you." Liane said.  
  
She kisses him on the forehead and leaves the room.  
  
[Next day at the bus stop]  
  
Stan and Kyle are there waiting for the bus to show up.  
  
"Dude, I hope Cartman's okay. He looked so sad yesterday." Stan said.  
  
"Yeah, he and Kenny were really close, just we are." Kyle said.  
  
"I hope he comes to school today. It's Salibury Steak day, after all." Stan said.  
  
"Me too. I'm really worried about him. I've never seen that depressed about anything before." Kyle. said.   
  
sTAN and Kyle are so caught up in their conversation that they don't notice Cartman walk up to them.  
  
"Hey guys, how's it going?" Cartman aasked in a low voice.  
  
Stan and Kyle turn around and gasp.  
  
"Cartman, you scared the crap out of us. Are you alright? You looked really down yesterday." Stan asked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm alright." Cartman said.  
  
"Are you sure, dude? You don't look too well." Kyle said.  
  
Cartman nods.  
  
"I'll manage." Cartman said.  
  
[Just then, the bus arrives.]  
  
"COME ON, WE'RE RUNNING REALLY LATE!!!! GET IN AND SHUT UP!!!!!!" Miss Crabtree exclaimed.  
  
"Whatever you fat bitch." Stan muttered.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Miss Crabtree exclaimed.  
  
"I said I have a bad itch/" Stan said.  
  
"Oh." Miss Crabtree said.  
  
Stan and Kyle look to their right to find Cartman looking out the window. Cartman sighes and leans his head again the window.  
  
"Dude, I'm really worried about Cartman. When we get to school, we have to convince Mr. Garisson to make Cartman go home. He can't be out in the cold in this condition." Kyle whispered.  
  
"Yeah, you're right, dude. He could get really sick. He looks like he hasn't eaten for days." Stan whispered back.  
  
[The bus reaches the school]  
  
"GET OFF!!!!" Miss Crabtree exclaimed.  
  
The boys get off and join some of the other kids that are already in the shcool's play ground. Kyle grabs Stan's sleeve and pulls him to the side.  
  
"Dude, let's take advantage now that we're actually early and talk to Mr. Garisson." Kyle said.  
  
Stan nods and they walk into the school.  
  
[Inside Mr. Garisson's classroom]  
  
Mr. Garisson is oragnizing some papers getting ready for the day's lesson when Stan and Kyle walk in. Mr. Garisson sees them and actually smiles.  
  
"Hello boys. Is something wrong?" Mr. Garisson said.  
  
"well, Mr. Garisson, we were wondering if we could talk to you for a moment." Kyle said.  
  
"Of course, boys. Sit down.  
  
Stan and Kyle each take a sit and Mr. Garisson sits down as well.  
  
"Now, what do you boys want to talk about?" Mr. Garisson asked.  
  
"Well, it's about Cartman. You see, he's been really depressed since Kenny died. He looks like he hasn't eaten in a while and he's not cracking jokes about anyone, and he's not being an asshole anymore. We're really worried about him, Mr. Garisson." Stan said.  
  
Mr. Garisson put a hand to his chin in thought.  
  
"He looks really weak. You have to send home, Mr. Garisson. He'll get sick in this cold in his condition." Kyle said.  
  
Mr. Garisson looks out the window and sees Cartman sitting in a corner by himself. He shakes his head and turns back to Kyle and Stan.  
  
"You're right, boys. He shouldn't be out and about in that condition. I'll go call his mother right now." Mr. Garisson said.  
  
"Thanks Mr. Garisson. Don't say we asked you to, though. We don't want him getting mad at us." Kyle said.  
  
"Kyle, you're only looking out for his well being. He'll thank you in the long run. Trust me." Mr. Garisson said.  
  
Kyle and Stan smile.  
  
Now, you boys go on and enjoy the rest of the time you have left before class begins." Mr. Garisson said.  
  
Kyle and Stan leave the classroom and Mr. Garisson looks out the window again.  
  
"I'd better go call Liane and have her come get Eric now." Mr. Garisson said.  
  
[Principle Victoria's office]  
  
"Principle Victoria? Can I use the phone for a second, please?" Mr. Garisson asked.  
  
"Why, of course you can, Mr. Garisson." Victoria said.  
  
Mr. Garisson picked up the phone and dailed Liane's cellphone number.  
  
[Supermarket]  
  
Liane is looking through the clean products when she hears her cellphone ring. She digs through her purse and finally pills it out.  
  
"Hello?" Liane said.  
  
The screen splits in half again and this time Mr. Garisson can be seen on the other side.  
  
Liane? It's Mr. Garisson. I'm calling regarding your son." Mr. Garisson said.  
  
"What's wrong? He's not in trouble, is he?" Liane asked.  
  
"No, no. Your son's not in trouble, but I do think you should come and pick him up. He doesn't look too well and should stay home." Mr. Garisson said.  
  
"I told him the same thing, but he said that Kenny would have wanted him to go back to school." Liane said.  
  
"Well, you better come pick him up, Liane. In his state, he's likely to get very sick. When was the last time he ate?" Mr. Garisson asked.  
  
"He ate half a plate of food last night for the time in two days. I don't know what else to do, Mr. Garisson. I'm so worried about him." Liane said.  
  
"Get him home and bundle him up. Give him plenty of Orange juice. Trust me on this, vitamin C will really do him some good. Make sure he gets plenty of sleep, and try to get him to eat something." Mr. Garisson said.  
  
"Alright. I'm on my way. Thank you Mr. Garisson. Liane said.  
  
They hang up and the screen becomes whole again.  
  
[Supermarket]  
  
I'll come back later and buy this stuff. Let me go get my baby home first." Liane said.  
  
She puts the bottle of liquid cleaner back on the shelf and leaves the supermarket.  
  
[Mr. Garisson's classroom.]  
  
"Okay children. Settle down. Now today, we're going to practice our times tables. Can anyone tell me what 2 times 2 is?" Mr. Garisson asked.  
  
Cartman raises his hand.  
  
"Yes Eric." Mr. Garisson said.  
  
"4." Cartman said.  
  
"Very good Eric. Now, who can tell me what 3 times 3 is? Anybody?" Mr. Garisson asked.  
  
Wendy is about to raise her hand when the door opens and Principle Victoria walks in.   
  
"I'm so sorry to interrupt your class, Mr. Garisson. Eric, your mother is here to pick you up." Victoria said.  
  
"My mother? But why? I haven't done anything wrong today, have I?" Cartman asked.  
  
"No, Eric. You didn't do anything wrong. I just noticed how weak and depressed you looked this morning and decided that it would be best if you stayed home and rest for a few days." Mr. Garisson said.  
  
"But, Mr. Garisson..." Cartman's voice trailed off.  
  
"No buts, Eric. You're gonna get sick if you go on like this. I'm sure Kenny wouldn't want that, now would he?" Mr. Garisson asked.  
  
Cartman looks at him in shock for a moment, then puts his head down.  
  
"No, Mr. Garisson." Cartman said.  
  
"Exactly. Now, you go home, get some rest and do try to eat something. You need your nurishment, especailly now." Mr. Garrison said.  
  
Cartman sighes. "Yes, Mr. Garisson." Cartman said.  
  
He gets up from his seat and leaves the class with principle Victoria.  
  
[Principle Victoria's office.]  
  
Cartman and P. Victoria enter to find Liane waiting for them.  
  
"Thanks for coming to pick him up, Liane." Victoria said.  
  
"No, thank you. Come on, Eric. Let's get you home." Liane said.  
  
They leave Victoria's office and exit the school.  
  
[In the car.]  
  
Cartman yawns and lays his back on the seat. He stays that way the whole ride home.  
  
[Outside Cartman's house.]  
  
"Hun, wake up. We're home." Liane said.  
  
Cartman wakes up very groggy and moans softly. They get out of the car and go into the house.  
  
[Inside Cartman's house]  
  
"Now, you go get some sleep, hun. Lunch will be ready soon." Liane said.  
  
"Okay, mom." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman walks slowly upstairs and goes to his room.   
  
[Inside Cartman's room]  
  
Cartman lies down on his bed and sighs. He looks at his nightstand and finds an old picture of Kenny he took when he took his off. He smiles and picks up the picture.  
  
"I remember this. It was during the war with Canada and Satan came to take over. Kenny took off his hood and finally showed us what he looked like. He was such a cute guy, why he always cover his face with that damn hood, I swear I'll never understand." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman continues to stare fondly at the picture for a moment until the realization of his last statement hits him.  
  
"Did I just say Kenny was cute? Man, maybe Mr. Garisson was right. Maybe I really do need to get some sleep." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman puts the picture back, changes into his P.J.s and gets into bed.  
  
[In the kitchen]  
  
"Hmm. He's awfully quite. I wonder if he's already asleep." Liane said.  
  
Liane walks upstairs and goes to Cartman's room.  
  
[Inside Cartman's room]  
  
Liane opens the door to find that has indeed, fallen asleep. She sighs and closes the door. Her footsteps can be heard walking away from Cartman's door. Cartman moans and turns on his side.  
  
"Kenny. I'll bring you back, Kenny. I swear, one day, I'll find a way to bring you back." Cartman mumbled.  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
  
A/N: So, what do you all think so far? Next episode, Cartman finds a book of incantations that contains a *Gasp* resurrection spell. Hee-Hee stay tuned. R/R. 


	2. Ressurection

I don't feel like writing that damn disclaimer. You already know I don't own South Park. Matt and Trey do. God bless those Lucky bastards.  
  
A/N: well, I must say that I'm pleasently surprised by all the wonderful reviews that I've been getting for this story. I thought for sure I would get flamed for this. Guess not. Anyway, this next episode takes place 8 years after The Loss. Thanks to everyone who reviewed for supporting me on this. It really inspires me and makes me WANT to continue. Well, here's episode 2. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
[8 years later]  
  
We see an office of some kind where a teenage boy is lying on a couch and appears to be staring at the ceiling until the door opens. The boy looks over to find a man with glasses and a big folder walk in and sit down. The boy sits up and crosses his arms waiting for the man to begin.  
  
"now Mr. Eric Cartman, in your own words, I want you to tell me what happened." the man said.  
  
Cartman sighs and runs a hand through his straight brown hair which he let grow down to his ears.  
  
"Dr. Hernandez, we've been at this for 8 years now. It's getting us no where. I'm just not over him. I don't think I ever will be, and for the love of god, you will please stop calling me "Mr." Just call me either Eric, or Cartman" Cartman said.  
  
"Yes, well Cartman, tell me what happened." Dr. Hernandez said.  
  
Cartman balls his hands into fits and takes a deep breath to calm himself down.  
  
"Fine. My friend Kenny McCormick died 8 years ago of an illness, I drank his ashes thinking it was Chocolate milk mix, his soul was trapped inside my body for 4 weeks, and when his soul left my body, he went into another body, and I'm still upset about it." Cartman said.  
  
"Well Mr. Cartman, it seems to me that you're not completely over him yet." Hernandez said.  
  
Cartman slaps his forehead and lets out a frustrated sigh. He gets up and grabs his jacket.  
  
"And just where do you think you're going, young man? Our session isn't over yet." Hernandez said.  
  
Cartman looks over at him and narrows his eyes.  
  
"This is bullshit! All you've been doing for the last 8 years is making my life a living hell! You haven't helped me in the slightest! I'm leaving, and I'm not coming back! I don't give a fuck what my mom saids, you're nothing but a no good, lazy son-of-a-bitch! Goodbye!" Cartman exclaimed.  
  
Cartman leaves and slams the door hard behind him.  
  
"Whoa, weird kid." Hernandez mutters.  
  
[In the paking lot]  
  
Cartman is trying to find his car looking very pissed off. He finally finds it and gets in. He closes the driver door and just slams head on the steering wheel.   
  
"I can't believe that asshole. What a fucking idiot. Where the hell did he get his degree from anyway, "Medical School For Dummies?" I'm gonna have to tell mom that I'm not going to see him anymore." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman starts the car and leaves the building.  
  
[inside Cartman's house]  
  
Liane is in the kitchen making dinner when she hears a car pull up onto the driveway.  
  
"Oh, Eric must be home." Liane said.  
  
Liane goes to open the front door, but Cartman is already walking into the house by the time she gets there.  
  
"Hi hun. How did your appointment go?" Liane asked.  
  
"Mom, I need to talk to you about Dr. Hernandez, seriously." Cartman said.  
  
"What's wrong, hun?" Liane asked.  
  
"Mom, all he's done for the last 8 years is give me hell about not being able to get over Kenny. He hasn't helped me at all. I finally got so sick of his shit today, that I just got up, told him I was not coming back and left. I also told him that I didn't care how good you talked about him, cuase I thought he was a piece of crap." Cartman said.  
  
"Oh, my." Liane said.  
  
"Now Dr. Martain, I like. Dr. Martain's cool. He's not my therapist, but I can talk to him more than I ever could with that other asshole." Cartman said.  
  
Liane sighs.  
  
"Well hun, if you really don't want to see Dr. Hernandez anymore, than you don't have to." Liane said.  
  
"Really? I don't? Thanks mom." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman gives her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Dinner will be ready in about half an hour, hun. Go and wash up a bit. You're all covered in snow." Liane said.  
  
"Alright mom." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman runs upstairs and goes into his room. Liane lets out a relieved sigh and goes back into the kitchen.  
  
[inside Cartman's room]  
  
Cartman takes off his snow covered coat and tosses it on the chair next to his computer. He jumps onto his bed, picks up the phone, and begins to dail. The screen splits in half to see the phone in another house ringing. Ike comes on screen and picks up the phone.  
  
"Hello?" Ike said.  
  
"Hi Ike. Is Kyle home?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Yeah, just a minute." Ike said.  
  
Ike leaves and calls out to Kyle. A moment later, an older boy with red hair came and picked up the phone.  
  
"Hey Cartman, what's up?" Kyle asked.  
  
"Nothing much. Just got home from my "session" with the asshole." Cartman said.  
  
Kyle shakes his head.  
  
"Dude, you've got to tell your mom that you don't want to see that jerk off anymore." Kyle said.  
  
"I already did. She said I don't have to see him anymore." Cartman said.  
  
"About damn time, Cartman. That guy shouldn't be a doctor, he should be one of those people that give you a guilt trip on a charity commerical so you can make a donation." Kyle said.  
  
Cartman laughs and after a moment, Kyle joins him.  
  
"I'm so glad to be rid of him. Maybe now I can calm down a little. That bastard stressed the hell out of me." Cartman said.  
  
"Speaking os stress, don't forget that we have to go to the book store tommorow to get the book we have to read so we can do our book reports." Kyle said.  
  
"I know. Whose house are we meeting at?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Butters. Since he lives the closest to the book store and the nearby diner we can grab some breakfest before hand." Kyle said.  
  
"Alright. Sounds good to me. What time?" Cartman asked.  
  
"10 in the morning." Kyle said.  
  
"Alright, cool. See ya then" Cartman said.  
  
"See ya tommorow." Kyle said.  
  
They hang up and Kyle's side of the screen disappears.  
  
"Man, book reports suck ass, but if I don't do it I'll fail the damn class. Son-of-a-bitch." Cartman muttered.  
  
[outside Cartman's room]  
  
"Eric, dinner's ready." Liane said.  
  
"Okay, mom. I'll be right down." Cartman said.  
  
Liane leaves and heads back downstairs. Cartman opens the door and heads downstairs himself.  
  
[at the dinner table]  
  
"So Eric, what are you going to do tommorow?" Liane asked.  
  
"I'm going to the book store with the guys to get the book we need to read to do our book reports." Cartman said.  
  
"That's nice, hun." Liane said.  
  
"Mom, you're not gonna send me to another theripst, are you?" Cartman asked.  
  
"No, hun. It obviously hasn't helped. It's only made it made worse for you. I'm sorry I didn't notice it before." Liane said.  
  
Cartman smiles.  
  
"Thanks mom. I want to try my own methods and see if I can finally get over Kenny. I'll never forget him, though." Cartman said.  
  
"Well of couse you won't, Eric. He was your best friend, after all." Liane said.  
  
"Yeah, he was. I just can't help but feel guilty about the way I always treated him, though." Cartman said.  
  
"What do you mean, hun?" Liane asked.  
  
Cartman sighs.  
  
"I always treated him like shit, mom. Calling him a poor piece of crap, beating on him, and callng him every other name in the book. It's too late to take it back, though." Cartman said.  
  
Liane frowns and puts a hand on Cartman's shoulder.  
  
"Don't worry, Eric. I'm sure Kenny knows how sorry you are and has already forgiven you. You always do say that you see Kenny in your dreams, right?" Liane asked.  
  
"Yeah, like the one when showed me how I would become if I didn't go on a diet. Turns out the next day Dr. Martain said I would become a diabetic if I didn't go on a diet before I turned 13." Cartman said.  
  
"And how old were you when that happened?" Liane asked.  
  
"12." Cartman said.  
  
"You see, hun. If Kenny didn't forgive you, or didn't care about you, he wouldn't have given you that nightmare. He was just trying to help you the best way he knew how. He maybe dead hun, but he'll always be with you." Liane said.  
  
Cartman smiles.  
  
"Thanks mom. I feel better now." Cartman said.  
  
"You're welcome, hun. I'm sure Kenny is proud of you." Liane said.  
  
Cartman blushes.  
  
"Mom!" Cartman exclaimed.  
  
Liane laughs.  
  
"Well, it's true, hun." Liane said.  
  
They finish eating anhd Cartman goes back up to his room.  
  
[inside Cartman's room]  
  
Cartman gets his alarm clock and sets for 8:45. He puts it back on his nightstand and notices the picture of Kenny he keeps there. He sighs and picks it up.  
  
"Man, I wish I could tell him how sorry I am in person. That'll never happen, though." Cartman said.  
  
He sighs and put the picture back on the nightstand. He feels a cool breeze and shivers slightly. He goes to close his window, but realizes that it was already closed.  
  
"That's weird. Where did that breeze come from?" Cartman asked.  
  
He shrugs it off and puts on his pajamas. He turns off his light and goes to sleep.  
  
[later that night.]  
  
Cartman wakes up and sees that he is completely surrounded by white.  
  
"Hey, what's going on? Where the hell am I?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Fear not, my son. Look upon me and you will see the answer to your prayers." a male's voice siad.  
  
"Jesus?" Cartman asked.  
  
A figure wlks up to Cartman who reveals himself to indeed be Jesus.  
  
"Oh man, Jesus! Where are we? How did we get here? Didn't the Iraqians kill you?" Cartman asked.  
  
"The Iraians know not, the true power of Jesus." Jesus said.  
  
Cartman laughs.  
  
"Man, it's great to see you, Jesus. So, what are you doing here, anyways?" Cartman asked.  
  
"I come to you with a very important message, Eric." Jesus said.  
  
"Oh, what is it?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Tommorow during your venture to the book store, you will find an interesting book with a page that contains something that will prove to be of great value to you and your friends. I cannot tell you what it is, but you will know it when you see it. You must also wait until the school year is over to try it." Jesus said.  
  
"Why do I have to wait until the school year is over, Jesus?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Becuase, you cannot have any stress on you about anything. Your mind must be clear in order for you to do whatever the page intrusts you to do." Jesus said.  
  
  
"Wow. Thanks Jesus! You kick ass!" Cartman exclaimed.  
  
"You are most welcome, my son. You must rest now. You have a long day ahead of you." Jesus said.  
  
The screen fades out to show Cartman still fast asleep in his romm. He opens his eyes and sits up. He looks at a picture he has of Stan, Kyle, and Kenny that he has by his alarm. He smiles and picks up the picture.  
  
"Something that will prove to be of great value to me and my friends, huh? I wonder what it is." Cartman said.   
  
He sighs and puts the picture back. He looks at his alarm and sees that it's 4:00 in the morning. He sighs again and lies back down.  
  
"Man, I hate it when I wake up in the middle of the night. It's such a bitch for me to get back to sleep afterwards. Hopefully I'll be able to get back to sleep tonight." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman closes his eyes and tries to get back to sleep.  
  
[next day at Butters's house]  
  
"Well, we've better get going if we're gonna get that damn book and do that stupid report already." Stan said.  
  
"Yeah, let's go. I wanna get thing over and done with" Kyle said.  
  
"Me too." Butters said.  
  
"Let's get going, then. The sooner we get this done, the better." Cartman said.  
  
They head off into town and walk towards the book store, but they decide to stop at the nearby diner to get some breakfest first.  
  
[at the diner]  
  
"So, what book do we have to do the report on?" Cartman asked.  
  
"We have a choice between "Moby Dick", "Phantom Of The Opera", "A Tale Of Two Cities", or, "Macbeth." Kyle said.  
  
"Damn dude, I don't know which one to choose." Stan said.  
  
"Me niether." Butters said.  
  
"I say we go with Phantom Of The Opera, since we saw the movies and the play, and we already pretty know what the story's about, anyway." Cartman said.  
  
"You know, that's a good idea, Cartman. It will make it easier since we already know about the selected book." Kyle said.  
  
"Alright." Stan said.  
  
"Sounds good to me." Butters said.  
  
"Good. Then it's settled. Phantom Of The Opera it is." Stan said.  
  
They finish their meal and go up to pay. Then they head off to the book store.  
  
[at the book store]  
  
"Alright. Let's split up and try tro find the book. The first one to find it, grabs four copies. Let's go." Stan said.  
  
They walk in and head off in direction directions. Cartman is looking through one of the book shelves and a strange looking white book falls off the shelf near his feet.  
  
"Hmm, I wonder what this is." Cartman muttered.  
  
He picks up the book and is shocked to find that it is a book of incantations. He opens the book and scans through the table of contents. His eyes widen in shock when he finds that the book contains a ressurection spell.  
  
"Oh, my god! A ressurection spell? Could this be what Jesus was talking about? I'd better make a copy of this page. Now, where the hell is that copy machine?" Cartman asks himself.  
  
He goes over to the copy machine and makes himself two copies of that page. He sticks both copies in his pocket and puts the book back on the shelf it fell from. A few minutes later, Butters goes up to Cartman carrying a small bag in his hands.  
  
"Hey Cartman, I got the books. Let's find Stan and Kyle so we can get the hell out of here." Butters said.  
  
"Alright." cartman said.  
  
They find Stan and Kyle a few minutes later and leave the book store.  
  
[outside the book store]  
  
"Now remember guys, this report is due the week before finals, which is only a month and a half away. We can't continue to hold this off, especially you, Cartman. This report will determine weather or not you pass that class. You can't afford to fail." Kyle said.  
  
"I know. It should take me no more than a week to read the book. It's not that thick." Cartman said.  
  
"Who would have thought that a smple book report would determine our passing or failing grade. Mrs. Jonhson's a real bitch." Stan said.  
  
"Yeah, all that time I was calling Kyle's mom a bitch, I should have been saying that about Mrs. Johnson instead. She certainly does fit the part. Big, fat, ugly, and a major fucking bitch!" Cartman exclaimed.  
  
Everyone laughs.  
  
"Well, let's go home and start reading this thing so we can get this bullshit done." Butters said.  
  
"Good idea. The sooner, the better." Kyle said.  
  
They go off in different directions to their own homes. On the way to his house, Cartman stops to look over at the rundown house that belonged to Kenny's parents. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out the copies that made and smiles.  
  
"Don't worry Mr. and Mrs. McCormick. Soon you'll have your son back. I may finally be able to bring him back soon." Cartman said.  
  
He puts the papers back in his pocket and continues off toward his house.  
  
[a month and a half later]  
  
"Finally! School's out for three whole months!" Stan exclaimed.  
  
"Dude, we can sleep in, now!" Kyle exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, no more Mrs. Jonhson!" Cartman exclaimed.  
  
"Ahem to that!" Butters exclaimed.  
  
They laugh and head towards the student parking lot.  
  
"So, what do you guys wanna do now?" Stan asked.  
  
"Well, I really don't feel all that great. I'm gonna go home and see if I can get some rest. I'll catch you guys later." Cartman said.  
  
"Alright. Hope you feel better, dude." Kyle said.  
  
"Yeah, we'll call you later to see how you're doing." Stan said.  
  
"Yeah, there's always tommorow. Take it easy today." Butters said.  
  
"Thanks guys. I'll see you all later." Cartman said.  
  
They each get into their own cars and drive home.  
  
[inside Cartman's house]  
  
Cartman walks in and finds two breif cases by the door and sees his mom come downstairs with two more.  
  
"What's up, mom? Where are you going?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Grandma saids she needs me to go to Nebraska for a few weeks and help her. She didn't say exactly what was wrong, though." Liane said.  
  
"Damn. I hope it's nothing too bad. Poor Grandma. Want me to come with you?" Cartman asked.  
  
Liane sighs and frowns.  
  
"That's the weird thing. She said not to bring you, because it would be too much for you to take." Liane said.  
  
Cartman looks up at her with a confused face.  
  
"Why wouldn't grandma want me to come?" Cartman asked.  
  
"I don't know, hun. I'm sure there's a very good reason, though. Don't worry, grandma loves you." Liane said.  
  
"I know. I just find it weird that Grandma wouldn't want me to come. Well, send her my love and tell her I hope everything turns out alright." Cartman said.   
  
Liane gives Cartman a kiss on the cheek and opens the front door.  
  
"Let me help you with those, mom." Cartman said.  
  
"Thanks, hun." Liane said.  
  
Cartman puts all four breif cases into Liane's car and closes the back door.  
  
"You leaving now, or later?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Grandma asked me to leave as soon as possible, so I guess I'll have to leave now. You gonna be alright, hun?" Liane asked.  
  
"Don't worry about me, mom. There's enough money in the check card you gave me to hold me, Stan, Kyle, and Butters out for three months." Cartman said.  
  
"Well, alright. I'll call as soon as I get to Nebraska." Liane asked.  
  
"Alright mom." Cartman said.  
  
Liane gives Cartman a hug and gets into the car. She drives off and Cartman goes back into the house.  
  
[later that night]  
  
Cartman opens the drawer that he kept the paper in and took it out. He sat down on his bed and began to read it.  
  
"Now, let's see. It saids here in order to cast the spell, I need some white candles, sand to make a certain shape on the floor, and a personal belonging of the person to be resurrected. Okay, that shouldn't be too hard. I'll just use Kenny's old Parka. His parents still have it." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman gets up, puts the paper in his pocket, and grabs his coat. He walks out the door and heads over to the McCormick's house.  
  
"I hope this spell works." Cartman said.  
  
He reached the McCormick's house a few minutes later. He went to knock on the front dorr, but no one answered. He tried again, but still no answer.   
  
"Hmm. Guess no one's home." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman decided to see if he could open the window that was in Kenny's old room. He opend it without much trouble. He went inside and began to look for the parka.  
  
"Man, I feel pretty bad about just breaking and entering like this, but I really need that parka." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman found it sitting on a chair covered in dust from years of nelgect. He grabbed it and climbed out the window. He closed to it to make it look no one had even been there. He got into his car and drove off.  
  
"Well, I've got some sand in a bottle at home, so now all I need are the white candles." Cartman said.  
  
He drove to the drug store and bought 12 long white candles and went back home. He got all the stuff and went inside.  
  
"Hmm. Let me put this parka to wash while I set everything up. This thing smells pretty damn bad." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman put the parka in the washer and went to set up the candles and the sand in his room. He lit all 12 candles and with the sand he made a big circle with a star inside it. He looks at the picture that the paper provides and sees that he did it right.  
  
"Okay. Now, according to this, I have to put the parka on top of the star and circle. Speaking of which, let me see if it's done washing yet." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman checks the washer and sees that the parka did finish washing. He put it in the dryer and set it for one hour.  
  
"One hour should be enough. I'll just lie down and wait for it to dry." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman laid down on the couch and closed his eyes.  
  
[an hour later]  
  
Cartman wakes up to see if the dryer finished yet and finds that it is. He opens the dryer and takes the parka out. He makes sure it's completely dry before heading back to his room.  
  
[inside Cartman's room]  
  
Cartman places the parka on the star and checking to see that all 12 candles are lit, he puts the paper on the floor in front of him and gets into a kneeling postion.  
  
"Hope this works." Cartman said.  
  
He clasps his hands, looks down at the paper and begins chanting what the paper said. After seeing that all he had to do was just say the same thing over and over again, Cartman closed his eyes. After a moment, the parka begins to lift itself off the ground and float in mid air. Cartman opens his eyes momentarily and his eyes widen in shock, but does not stop chanting. He closes his eyes again and feels a cold breeze that flicks off all the candles.  
  
~What the hell? What happened to the candles?~  
  
Still chanting, Cartman gets up to relight all the candles, but they all turn off again. Then, Cartman heard a soft whisper call out his name.  
  
"Who's there? What's going on?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Cartman." said a whispered voice.  
  
Cartman feels another cold breeze and hears the whisper again.  
  
Cartman starts chanting again. He looks up at the parka and sees that it's streching out and filling up. His eyes widen in shock. After a moment he closes his eyes again and continues to chant.  
  
"Cartman." came the whisper again.  
  
Cartman just keeps his eyes closed and continues chanting. He feels a cool breeze run down his right cheek, and he opens his eyes again to find that a shape was now forming inside the parka.  
  
"Cartman." the whisper came again.  
  
"Oh my god. It's working. Kenny's coming back." Cartman whispered.  
  
Cartman closes his eyes again and continues chanting. He hears the whisper again a few minutes later and opens his eyes again. He looks up to see that the shape around the parka is slowly becoming visible. He can see a tuff of Blonde hair and a pair of chocolate brown eyes looking down at him. Cartman continues chanting and the figure inside the parka begins to slowly decend to the floor. A few minutes later, the figure becomes completely visible and Cartman stops chanting. He turns on his lamp to find a boy about his age standing right in front of him.  
  
"Holy shit. It worked. It actually worked!" Cartman exclaimed.  
  
The boy takes the hood off to reveal long, straight blonde hair that reaches down to his shoulders. He walks up to Cartman and smiles. Cartman smiles back.  
  
"Kenny? Is that really you?" Cartman asked.  
  
The boys laughs.  
  
"Of course it's me, dude. You brought me back to life!" Kenny exclaimed.  
  
Cartman crushs Kenny to his chest in a hug and starts crying.  
  
"Oh my god, Kenny! I've missed you so much! I was miserible without you!" Cartman exclaimed.  
  
"I never left, Cartman. I was always here in some form." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman continues hugging Kenny and crying himself a river. He gets so emotional that without even realizing what he's doing, he gives Kenny a long, passionate kiss. Kenny's eyes widen in surprise but he makes no move to push Cartman away. He closes his eyes and kisses Cartman back. After a few minutes, they pull apart, and look at eachother with a shocked expersion on their faces.  
  
"Di... Did I just do what I think I did?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Yeah, you did." Kenny said.  
  
They both start laughing. Cartman hugs Kenny again.   
  
"It's so good to have you back, Kenny." Cartman said.  
  
"It's good to be back." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman puts his head on Kenny's shoulder and closes his eyes. Kenny looks at himself in Cartman's mirror and smiles.  
  
"I'm alive, again. And this time, I'm here to stay." Kenny said.  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
  
A/N: YAY! Kenny's back! Next episode, some confessions are made. Hope you all are enjoying this so far. 


	3. Confessions

A/N: Here's Episode 3  
  
  
  
[Inside Kyle's house]  
  
Kyle is sitting on the couch in the living room with Ike watching Terrence and Phillip, but not really paying attention.  
  
"Kyle, what's wrong?" Ike asked.  
  
"Huh? Oh, nothing. I'm just kind of worried about Cartman. He said he wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home and get some rest. I want to call him, but I don't want to disturb him. You know how he can get when you disturb his sleep." Kyle said.  
  
"True, but still, give him a call. You'll feel better once you do." Ike said.  
  
Kyle looks down at Ike and smiles.  
  
"You know Ike, for an 8 year old, you're pretty fucking smart." Kyle said.  
  
Ike smirks.  
  
"I learned from the best." Ike said.  
  
Kyle laughs and messes up Ike's hair.  
  
"You damn right you did." Kyle said.  
  
Kyle gets up and goes to the kitchen. He picks up the portable phone and begins to dial Cartman's number. However, he gets a buy single. Kyle sighs and hangs up the phone.  
  
"Figures. Cartman always does this when he doesn't want to be bothered. Can't say I blame him, though. I'd probably do the same thing if I felt a little ill myself." Kyle said.  
  
Kyle walks back to the living room and sits back down on the couch.   
  
"How'd it go?" Ike asked.  
  
"I couldn't get a hold of him. He must have disconnected his phone, again. I really fucking hate it when he does that shit. It pisses me off!" Kyle exclaimed.  
  
Ike shrugs.   
  
"Well, go pay him a visit tomorrow, then." Ike said.  
  
"Yeah, I think I'll do that." Kyle said.  
  
They turn their attention back to the show and Kyle sighs.  
  
[Inside Cartman's room]  
  
Kenny is still looking at himself in Cartman's mirror and notices his hair.  
  
~Damn. My hair's pretty fucking long. I'm gonna have to cut it. ~  
  
Kenny looks away from the mirror and looks down at Cartman who still has his head resting on his shoulder with his eyes closed. Kenny smiles and begins to run his hand through Cartman's brown hair. Cartman sighs and opens his eyes. He lifts his head to look up at Kenny and smiles.   
  
"I still can't that spell actually worked." Cartman said.  
  
"Well believe it. I'm back in the flesh." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman smiles and starts to play with Kenny's hair.  
  
"You have such nice hair Kenny. Why did you always cover your face with that damn hood, anyway?" Cartman asked.  
  
Kenny blushes and looks at the floor. Cartman tilts his head in confusion.  
  
"Was it something I said?" Cartman asked.  
  
Kenny shakes his head.  
  
"No, no. It's just that… Well… I don't know. I guess I just thought I didn't look good enough, so I wore the hood to cover my face hoping it would make look better." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman's eyes widen in shock. He lifts Kenny's head up by the chin forcing him to make eye contact. Kenny blushes redder and redder by the minute.  
  
"What do you mean "Didn't look good enough"? You were always such as cute guy, Kenny. Hell, even now you're as cute as ever." Cartman said.  
  
Kenny's eyes widen in surprise.  
  
"You…You really think so?" Kenny asked.  
  
Cartman smiles.  
  
"Of course I do, Kenny." Cartman said.  
  
Kenny smiles.  
  
"Thanks Cartman." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman pulls Kenny into another passionate kiss. Kenny wraps his arms around Cartman's shoulders and they remain that way until Kenny lightly moans into Cartman's mouth. The realization of what was going on kicked in and Cartman quickly pulled Kenny away. Kenny looks at him with a confused and hurt expression.  
  
"Oh my god, Kenny. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. I don't know what came over me. I just… Oh, god what have I done" Cartman said.  
  
Cartman sits down on his bed and puts his face in his hands. He sighs and looks back up.   
  
"I… I'll be right back." Cartman said in a shaky voice.  
  
Before Kenny can say a word, Cartman leaves the room and runs down the hall until he enters another room and closes the door.  
  
"Cartman." Kenny whispered.  
  
[Inside the Bathroom.]  
  
Cartman sits on the toilet and puts his head in his hands again.  
  
~Why did I kiss him? Am I really gay? That would explain why I never did like any of the girls here in South Park, and my dreams, but still, Kenny? Is that why I never got over him? Do I love him? Great, now he probably thinks I'm a weirdo and won't want to be around me anymore. ~  
  
Cartman brings his knees up to his chest and begins to cry.  
  
[Outside the Bathroom]  
  
Kenny walks up to the door that Cartman went through. He reaches the door and can hear light sobbing on the other side.  
  
"Oh my god, I can't believe I kissed him! He must think I'm some sick queer and probably hates my guts now." Cartman sobbed from the other side.  
  
Kenny feels his heart sink and a tear falls from his eyes.  
  
~How could Cartman possibly think that I hate him? And would I think he's a sick queer? I better go in there and set things right. ~  
  
Kenny opens the door and closes it as quietly as he can to not scare Cartman. He walks up to him and places a hand on his shoulder, but Cartman moves away.  
  
"Cartman, are you okay?" Kenny asked.  
  
Cartman looks up and Kenny gasps when he sees how red and puffy Cartman's eyes are from crying.  
  
"Kenny, I… I…" Cartman trailed off.  
  
Cartman bites his lip and chokes back a sob.  
  
"You shouldn't be getting too close to me right now Kenny." Cartman said.  
  
"Why the hell not?" Kenny asked in a gentle voice.  
  
"Because, the longer you're around me, the more I want to…" Cartman trails off again.  
  
"The more you want to what, Cartman?" Kenny asked.  
  
Cartman sighs and bites his lip again.  
  
"The more I want to hold you in my arms and kiss you." Cartman said..  
  
"Is that what this all about, Cartman? Do you honestly think I'm going to hate you because you're gay?" Kenny asked.  
  
Cartman doesn't answer.  
  
"Move over, so I can sit down, Cartman. We need to talk." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman moves over and Kenny sits down. Kenny puts an arm around Cartman shoulder and gives it a light squeeze.  
  
"You're not mad, are you? Cartman asked.  
  
"Of course not Cartman. I'm not mad at you, I don't hate you, and I don't think you're a sick queer." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman sighs in relief. Kenny rubs his arm and Cartman leans his head on Kenny's shoulder.  
  
"It really doesn't bother you that I maybe gay and that I kissed you?" Cartman asked.  
  
Kenny sighs.  
  
"Cartman, did I try to pull you away? Did I try to stop you?" Kenny asked.  
  
Cartman doesn't answer. He just tries to let what Kenny's telling him sink in.  
  
"Cartman, if you're a sick queer, then I must be a pretty damn sick one myself, because I enjoyed it." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman lifts his head up and stars at Kenny in shock.  
  
"You did?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Yes Cartman. I did." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman smiles.  
  
"You know, I was able to watch you up in heaven. I know all about your dreams." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman blushes.  
  
"I never could see his face." Cartman said.  
  
"Who's face?" Kenny asked.  
  
"The guy in my dreams. I could see the body clearly, but his face was always fogged out. I never could figure out who it was." Cartman said.  
  
Kenny bites his lower lip and Cartman raises an eyebrow at him in confusion.  
  
"What's wrong Kenny?" Cartman asked.  
  
Kenny sighs.  
  
~Oh boy, here we go. ~  
  
"I… I know who the guy in your dreams was, Cartman." Kenny said.  
  
"Really? Who?" Cartman said.  
  
Kenny takes a deep breath before answering.  
  
"It was me." Kenny said.  
  
"You, but how?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Those dreams were my way of telling you that'd I'd be back someday, but my face was always fogged out for some damn reason. I guess you just weren't ready to know at the time." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman looks up at him in shock.  
  
"It… It was you? Oh my god. Kenny, you know what kind of dreams they were, right?" Cartman asked.  
  
Kenny nods.  
  
"Yes, I do, Cartman." Kenny said.  
  
"But then, that would mean that you're…" Cartman trails off.  
  
"Gay? Well, I really always thought of myself as being bisexual, but I guess I am." Kenny said.  
  
"So, my dreams of being with another man, it was you. It was you the whole fucking time, wasn't it?!" Cartman exclaimed.  
  
"Yes, it was. I also gave you that nightmare showing you as a diabetic and dying of being too fat to make sure you would go on a diet so that it wouldn't happen." Kenny said.  
  
"Well, it sure fucking worked. I was scared shitless when I woke up the next morning. I started my diet that very same day." Cartman said.  
  
Kenny smiles and runs a hand through Cartman's hair.  
  
"I'm sorry to have scared you like that, but I just didn't want to see anything happen to you, Cartman. I don't know what I would have done had anything happened to you or the others." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman smiles.  
  
~Now I understand what my dreams were trying to tell me all these years. There's just no ands, ifs, or buts about it. I am gay and I do love him. ~  
  
"I love you, Kenny." Cartman said.  
  
Kenny looks down at Cartman and smiles.  
  
"I love you too, Cartman." Kenny said.  
  
Kenny reaches over and catches Cartman's lips in a passionate kiss. They stay that for a moment, and they wrap their arms around eachother.  
  
~Wow. Who would have thought? Me and Kenny, together. Just goes to show, life really is full of surprises. ~  
  
They pull apart after what seems like forever. Cartman rests his head on Kenny's chest and sighs.  
  
"Kenny, I'm sorry for the way I always treated you." Cartman said.  
  
"It's alright. We were just kids, we didn't know any better." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman smiles.  
  
"Thank you, Kenny. That really means a lot to me." Cartman said.  
  
"You're welcome, my love." Kenny said.  
  
"You know, everyone in South Park thinks I'm end up like my mom." Cartman said.  
  
"What do mean?" Kenny asked.  
  
"Let's face it, Kenny. She's the town whore. It really pisses me off that my mom just goes and degrades herself like that. Don't get me wrong, I love my mother to death and I'll pound anyone who dares hurt her, but, I just wish she'd show a little more respect for herself!" Cartman exclaimed  
  
Cartman bursts into tears and Kenny holds him to his chest.  
  
"Don't worry, baby. Everything's going to be okay, I promise. I'll always be here for you." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman continues to cry onto Kenny's chest. Kenny rubs his back slowly and Cartman's sobs turn into small whimpers.  
  
"It's okay, love. Cry as much as you need too." Kenny said.  
  
After a moment Cartman looks up at Kenny.  
  
"You know, you're the only one I've ever told any of this to." Cartman said.  
  
"You haven't told Stan or Kyle?" Kenny asked.  
  
Cartman shakes his head.  
  
"I doubt they'd understand. As it is, I'm nervous enough thinking about how they're gonna react once I tell them that I managed to bring you back from the dead and that I'm gay." Cartman said.  
  
Kenny smiles.  
  
"Knowing Stan and Kyle, the worst thing they're gonna say is that they ought to kick both of our asses for not telling them sooner." Kenny said.  
  
"You really think so, Kenny?" Cartman asked.  
  
"I know so. Stan and Kyle are our friends, Cartman. They'll understand." Kenny said.  
  
"Yeah, you're right. Maybe I shouldn't be so damn paranoid." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman pulls Kenny into another kiss. When they pull apart, Cartman lays his head on Kenny's shoulder, again and lets out a small yawn.  
  
"You look kind of tired, my love. Why don't you try to get some sleep?" Kenny asked.  
  
"Only if you join me, hun." Cartman said.  
  
Kenny laughs.  
  
"You got it." Kenny said.  
  
They get up, leave the bathroom, and head back to Cartman's room to retire for the rest of the night.  
  
  
A/N: Next episode: Cartman tells Stan and Kyle. How will they take it? You'll know soon enough. 


	4. Confessions pt2

[The next morning]  
  
The sunlight hits Cartman's face waking him up. He moans and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. He sits up and stretches. He looks around, but can't find Kenny. He sighs and closes his eyes again.  
  
~Was it just another dream? Damn, I hate having those dreams. Every night it's the same thing: I dream that I bring Kenny back, and when I wake up, I find that it was just a dream. God, I don't know how much more of it I can take! ~  
  
Cartman gets up. He's just about to go downstairs to the kitchen when he hears water running.  
  
~What the hell? Is mom back already? She said she would be gone for a few weeks, though. ~  
  
Cartman looks out the front window and sees that Liane's car is not there. Cartman gasps as memories of the night before flood is mind.  
  
"Holy shit! Co… Could the one in the shower really be Kenny?!" Cartman exclaimed.  
  
Cartman runs back upstairs and stops at the Bathroom door. He notices that the door is slightly opened, and pokes his head in. He sees the form of a young man in the shower washing his blonde shoulder length hair. Cartman gasps and closes the door.  
  
~Oh my god. It… It wasn't a dream after all! I really did bring Kenny back! Everything from last night really happened! Holy shit! ~  
  
Cartman starts panting as he realizes that he would have to tell Stan and Kyle the truth.  
  
~Oh god… What am I gonna say to them? How are they gonna take it? Will they look at me any different? ~  
  
The bathroom door opens, but Cartman is too deep in thought to even notice. Kenny comes out wrapped in a towel and notices Cartman has his back turned to the door and his panting hard. Kenny sighs in sympathy.   
  
~Poor guy. He's been through a lot. This must be really hard for him. ~  
  
Kenny wraps the towel so that it doesn't fall off and walks up to Cartman. He wraps his arms around his waist and pulls him to his chest. Cartman nearly has a heart attack, but sighs in relief when he realizes that it's Kenny.  
  
"Baby, are you okay?" Kenny asked.  
  
Cartman smiles and rests his head on shoulder.  
  
"Yeah, I'm alright. I was lost in thought, that's all." Cartman said.  
  
"But, you were panting really hard. What were you thinking about?" Kenny asked.  
  
~Was I really panting? Damn, I didn't even notice. Well, I guess I should tell him. ~   
  
"It's nothing much really. I'm just nervous about telling Stan and Kyle. I'm kinda scared, Kenny. I don't know what I'm gonna say to them and I'm afraid of what their reactions are gonna be." Cartman said in a low voice.  
  
Kenny kisses the top of Cartman's head and smiles.  
  
"Don't worry, everything's gonna be fine. I'm sure they won't give a rat's ass that we're together, though they will be shocked as hell to see me. I'm telling you, they're our friends, they're not gonna just turn their backs on us." Kenny said.  
  
"I know, but this is still a really big shock for me as well. I thought I'd never see you again, Kenny. It killed me to think that I may have lost you forever. I never realized that it was because I love you until last night. Since I didn't see you when I woke up, I thought it was just another dream." Cartman said.  
  
Kenny sighs and runs a hand through Cartman's hair.  
  
"I'm sorry, Babe. I didn't mean to make you feel that way, but I just had to take a shower!" Kenny exclaimed.  
  
They both laugh for a moment.  
  
"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad it wasn't my mind playing tricks on me, again." Cartman said.  
  
"Me too. By the way, where's your mom?" Kenny asked.  
  
"Oh, she's out of town. My grandma said she needed her to go to Nebraska for a few weeks to help her out. She didn't say what was wrong though, and grandma said not to bring me along. I'm worried Kenny. What if something's wrong with my grandparents or any of my other relatives?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Didn't she call you when she got there?" Kenny asked.  
  
Cartman shakes his head.  
  
"No. She said she would. I hope nothing happened to her on the way!" Cartman exclaimed.  
  
Cartman starts to panic. Kenny turns him around so that they are facing eachother.  
  
"Cartman, calm down. I'm sure she's fine. Just call her on her cell, or call your grandparents and see if she's there. For all you know, she might have gotten there really late and was so tired, she decided to just call you in the morning." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman opens his mouth to say something when as if on cue, the phone rings downstairs.  
  
"Go get it. It maybe your mom." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman rushes downstairs. Kenny lingers for a moment longer chuckling to himself.  
  
~Talk about perfect timing. I was just about to have Cartman actually call her. ~  
  
[In the Kitchen]  
  
Cartman grabs the phone and nearly drops it when he tries to put the receiver to his ear.  
  
"Hello." Cartman said.  
  
The screen splits in half and Liane can be seen on the other end.  
  
"Hi, hun. It's me." Liane said.  
  
"Mom, thank god. I was worried something may have happened to you since you didn't call last night." Cartman said.  
  
"I'm sorry, hun. It was almost 4 in the morning when I got here. I haven't gone to sleep yet." Liane said.  
  
"What's going on? Is everything okay?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Well, yes and no. You know your cousin Elvin, right?" Liane asked.  
  
"Is there something wrong? Cartman asked.  
  
"Well, he has been badly injured in a car crash and the doctors say that he needs a blood transfusion. Grandma asked me to come because she thought I would be able to, but my blood type isn't compatible to his." Liane said.   
  
Cartman's eyes widen in shock and he drops the phone. He picks it back up and puts back on his ear with a shaky hand.  
  
"Isn't anyone in the family compatible?" Cartman asked.  
  
"The only one is your uncle Howard. Luckily the prison's allowing him to do it." Liane said.  
  
Cartman sighs in relief.  
  
"So, Elvin's gonna be okay, right?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Yes, I think so." Liane said.  
  
"Thank god." Cartman said.  
  
"I'll call you as soon as the transfusion is done and let you know how it went." Liane said.  
  
"Okay mom. If I don't pick up, just leave a message and try to get some sleep." Cartman said.  
  
"Alright. Bye hun." Liane said.  
  
"Bye mom." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman hangs up the phone and Liane's side of the screen disappears. He lets out a long breath. Kenny, who had been waiting in the living room, comes into the kitchen and wraps Cartman in a hug.  
  
"Is everything okay?" Kenny asked.  
  
"My cousin Elvin got hurt in a car crash and needs a blood transfusion. My grandma thought my mom could do it, but her blood wasn't compatible. Luckily my uncle Howard can do it." Cartman said.  
  
"Oh, man. I'm sorry." Kenny said.  
  
"It's okay. My mom said he'll be alright. Thank god. I was so worried that he might have died." Cartman said.  
  
"Well. I'm sure the transfusion will go smoothly. Try not to worry about it." Kenny said.  
  
Cartman nods. He's about to say something when his stomach growls.  
  
"Hee-Hee. Guess I'm kinda hungry." Cartman said.  
  
Kenny stomach growls as well.  
  
"Me too. Let's eat breakfast, then get Stan and Kyle to come over so we can tell them." Kenny said.  
  
"Alright." Cartman said.  
  
They sit down and eat their meal in silence.  
  
[Later that morning]  
  
Kyle groans as hears a ringing noise in his ears. He goes to turn off the alarm clock, but realizes that it's the phone ringing. He reaches over his night stand and picks up his phone.  
  
"Hello." Kyle said in a sleepy voice.  
  
The screen splits in half and Cartman can be seen on the other end.  
  
"Kyle? I'm sorry, were you sleeping?" Cartman asked.  
  
"It's alright. What's up, dude?" Kyle asked.  
  
"Nothing much. Listen, I need you and Stan to come over today. I have something important to tell you guys, but I want to say it in person." Cartman said.  
  
"Alright, dude. Let me call Stan and we'll be there in a little while." Kyle said.  
  
"Thanks Kyle." Cartman said.  
  
"No problem man. See you in a little bit." Kyle said.  
  
They hang up and Cartman's side of the screen disappears. Kyle sits up and stretches.  
  
~I wonder what Cartman has to tell us. Well, I better call Stan so we can find out. ~  
  
He picks up his phone and dials Stan's number. The phone can be seen ringing at another house. Randy Marsh comes on screen and picks up the phone.  
  
"Hello." Randy said.  
  
The screen splits in half to show both Kyle and Randy.  
  
"Good morning Mr. Marsh. Is Stan home? Kyle greets.  
  
"Sure Kyle. Hold on a second." Randy said.  
  
Randy puts the phone down and walks off screen. He can be heard telling Stan that Kyle's on the phone. A moment later, Stan appears on screen and picks up the phone.  
  
"Hey Kyle, what's up?" Stan asked.  
  
"Nothing much. Cartman just woke me up. He saids that he needs us to go over to his house because he has something important that he needs to tell us, but he wants to tell us both in person." Kyle said.  
  
"Really? Well, knowing Cartman he wouldn't say to meet up at his house unless it really was important. I'll be at your house in 30 minutes, dude. Just let me take a shower real quick." Stan said.  
  
"Kay. A shower actually sounds like a good idea right about now. It might wake me up a little." Kyle said.  
  
"Alright, see ya then." Stan said.  
  
"See ya." Kyle said.  
  
They hang up and each can be seen going off in opposite directions.  
  
[30 minutes later]  
  
Stan walks up to the front door of Kyle's house and knocks on the door. A moment later Kyle answers and greets Stan with a smile.  
  
"Right on time, dude." Kyle said.  
  
"Yep. Now, let's get to Cartman's. I'm curious as to what he needs to tell us." Stan said.  
  
"Yeah, let's go." Kyle said.  
  
Kyle grabs his coat and walks out. He closes the door and they head off for Cartman's house.  
  
[Inside Cartman's house]  
  
Kenny and Cartman are on the couch attempting to watch a movie. Kenny has his head on Cartman's shoulder and they get into a serious make-out session. They fall back on the couch and Cartman gets on top of Kenny. Their kissing becomes more intense and they both start moaning really loud. Cartman starts kissing the side of Kenny's neck and nibbles on his ear. Kenny's moans get louder and just when Cartman is about to take off Kenny's shirt, the doorbell rings. Cartman grunts in frustration and Kenny smiles.  
  
"Get it. It could be Stan and Kyle. We can continue this later." Kenny said.  
  
"Hell yeah we are." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman gives Kenny a kiss on the cheek and gets up. They brush themselves off and head for the door.  
  
"Now remember Cartman, they're our friends. It's gonna be okay." Kenny said.  
  
"Yeah, you're right. I can do this. It's just Stan and Kyle. They'll understand. I hope." Cartman said.  
  
Kenny runs a hand through Cartman's hair and gives him a kiss on the cheek.  
  
"Let's give them a little scare. I'll hide in the kitchen while you tell them how you brought me back. If they don't believe you, call me and I'll come into the living room. I wanna see the look on their faces." Kenny said.  
  
"Okay." Cartman said.  
  
Kenny runs into the kitchen while Cartman gets the door. He sees Stan and Kyle and smiles.  
  
"Hey guys. What's up?" Cartman asked.  
  
"Nothing. What is it you needed to tell us, Cartman?" Stan asked.  
  
"Oh yeah. Come in. I'll tell you inside." Cartman said.  
  
He lets Stan and Kyle in and clasps his hands in a silent prayer before closing the door.  
  
"Sit down guys." Cartman said.  
  
They sit down on the couch. Cartman closes his eyes and sighs.  
  
"Now guys, this may come as bit of a shock, but when we went to that book store to find that damn book, I found a book on incantations with a page that contained a resurrection spell. I made a copy of it, and last night, I tried it out." Cartman said.  
  
"Cartman, what are you trying to tell us?" Kyle asked.  
  
Cartman smiles.  
  
"I'm saying I was able to resurrect Kenny last night!" Cartman exclaimed.  
  
Kyle and Stan look at eachother with confused expressions.  
  
"Cartman? You don't have a fever, do you?" Stan asked feeling Cartman's forehead.  
  
"No, you guys, seriously!" Cartman exclaimed.  
  
"Cartman, those dreams are getting you again, aren't they?" Kyle asked.  
  
"No guys. I mean it! Kenny! Get in here, now!" Cartman exclaimed.  
  
Stan and Kyle are about to say something when they see a blonde guy in an orange parka step into the living room. Kyle and Stan gasp in shock.  
  
"Kenny?" Kyle asked.  
  
Kenny smiles.  
  
"Hey guys. How's it going?" Kenny greeted.  
  
"Oh my god! Cartman really did resurrect Kenny!" Stan exclaimed.  
  
"Holy shit, dude!" Kyle exclaimed.  
  
Kenny walks up to them and sits on the couch.  
  
"Long time no see guys." Kenny said.  
  
"Wow, Kenny. It's so great to see you alive again!" Stan exclaimed.  
  
"Totally, dude! We've all missed you like hell!" Kyle exclaimed.  
  
Kenny gives Kyle and Stan a hug and stands up to join Cartman.  
  
"Whoa, dude. We're sorry we didn't believe you, Cartman." Stan said.  
  
"Yeah, for a second I was worried that your dreams were getting to you again.." Kyle said.  
  
"It' alright you guys." Cartman said.  
  
"This is great! Oh my god, Mr. and Mrs. McCormick will be so fucking happy when they find out!" Stan exclaimed.  
  
Kyle and Cartman look at Stan unsure.  
  
"His mom will, but I don't know about his dad." Kyle said.  
  
"What do you mean?" Kenny asked.  
  
Cartman, Stan and Kyle all look at eachother before answering.  
  
"Kenny, after you died, your mom and brother bawled their eyes out, but your dad, he just said and I quote, " It is tragic, but now we have one less mouth to feed." Your mom gave him such an ass beating after he said that." Cartman said.  
  
Kenny's eyes widen in shock and he gets teary eyed.  
  
"My… My dad said that?" Kenny asked.  
  
"Yes, he did, Kenny." Kyle said.  
  
Kenny closes his eyes and a few tears roll down his cheeks. Cartman wipes them away and pulls Kenny into an embrace.  
  
"I'm sorry, Kenny." Cartman whispered.  
  
Kenny starts sobbing uncontrollably and wraps his arms around Cartman's waist. Cartman runs a hand through Kenny's hair and kissed the top of Kenny's head. Kyle and Stan are a bit shocked by this, but are to busy wondering if Kenny will be alright to concern themselves with that at the moment.  
  
"I can't believe this. Why would my dad say something like that?" Kenny asked.  
  
"Kenny, your dad was plastered as all hell during your funeral. Maybe he didn't mean it." Stan said.  
  
"Yeah, he probably felt bad about it the next morning when your mom told him." Kyle said.  
  
"I sure hope so." Kenny said.  
  
Stan and Kyle walk up to Kenny and they each put a hand on Kenny's shoulder to try and comfort him.  
  
"Well, I'll find out the truth soon enough. Cartman, let's just go ahead and tell them our little confession." Kenny said.  
  
"Alright. Kenny." Cartman said.   
  
Stan and Kyle look at eachother confused.  
  
"You mean that wasn't all?" Stan asked.  
  
"No, there's one more thing." Cartman said.  
  
"What is it?" Kyle asked  
  
Cartman sighs.  
  
"Sit down you guys." Cartman said.  
  
Kyle and Stan do so.  
  
"Now, this is going to come as real shock to you guys, but you know how I never really liked any of the girls here in South Park, with the exception of Wendy, but that was just some weird physical attraction thing, that doesn't really count." Cartman said.  
  
"Cartman, just what are you getting at?" Kyle asked.  
  
"Well, last night when I brought Kenny back, I realized something about myself." Cartman said.  
  
"Well, for god's sake what is it?" Stan asked.  
  
Cartman looks at Kenny and grabs his hand. He looks back at Stan and Kyle whose eyes are now as wide as plates and their jaws are dropped.  
  
"You guys, we're gay." Cartman said.  
  
Stan and Kyle just stare at Kenny and Cartman in shock for a moment, but Stan is the first to break the ice.  
  
"So, are you guys an item now?" Stan asked.  
  
"Yeas, we are" Kenny said.  
  
Stan and Kyle look at eachother and smile.  
  
"Dude, that's great!" Kyle exclaimed  
  
"Yeah, congratulations you guys!" Stan exclaimed.  
  
Cartman sighs in relief. Kenny chuckles.  
  
"See? I told you they'd understand." Kenny said.  
  
"Wait a minute. You didn't honestly think we were gonna hate you or think you were some kind of sick freak, did you, Cartman?" Kyle asked.  
  
Cartman looks down in shame.  
  
"Dude, you and Kenny our friends. It doesn't matter that you guys are gay." Stan said.  
  
"Thanks you guys." Cartman said.  
  
Cartman goes up to Stan and Kyle and gives each of them a hug.  
  
"That really means a lot you guys." Cartman said.  
  
Kenny walks up to them and stars rubbing Cartman's back.  
  
"See babe, you had nothing to worry about." Kenny said.  
  
"Dude, this is so cool. Now you guys can come with us when me and Kyle go on dates with our girlfriends." Stan said.  
  
"Are you still with Wendy, Stan?" Kenny asked.  
  
"Yep." Stan said.  
  
"Wow. How about you, Kyle? Who's your girl?" Kenny asked.  
  
"Remember Bebe?" Kyle asked.  
  
Kenny burst out laughing.  
  
"Oh my god! I knew you two were gonna eventually end up together!" Kenny exclaimed.  
  
"You and everyone else." Kyle said.  
  
"How long have you and Bebe been together?" Kenny asked.  
  
"Three years." Kyle said.  
  
Kenny smiles.  
  
"Glad to hear that, man." Kenny said.  
  
"Thanks Kenny." Kyle said.  
  
"So, how are Butters and Tweek?" Kenny asked.  
  
"They're okay." Stan said.  
  
"Great. Let's go to my house now. I wanna see my family again." Kenny said.  
  
"Alright. Let's go guys." Stan said.  
  
  
A/N: Kenny tells his parents. How will they take it? Find out soon. 


	5. Confessions pt 3

A/N: From her on, I'm just gonna write this in regular story format, because writing it in episode format so damn aggravating and annoying. Besides, it'll be a lot easier on everyone, or at least, I hope. Well, enjoy this next chapter.  
Kenny took a deep breath as they approached his house and hesitated to open the door. Cartman came up and hugged him from behind and placed an affectionate kiss on the side of his neck.  
  
"Don't worry; we're all right behind you baby." Cartman said.  
  
Kenny smiled and turned to face his friends.  
  
"Thanks you guys." Kenny said.  
  
Kenny turned back to the door and Cartman let go of Kenny as he opened it. They all stepped inside to find Mr. McCormick drunk on the couch as usual, and Mrs. McCormick drinking the last of the juice from a small glass bottle. Kenny sighed and stepped up to them. He cleared his throat to get their attention, but got no response. He realized that he would have to speak to get their attention.  
  
"Uh… Mom…Dad?" Kenny addressed.  
  
Mr and Mrs McCormick turned to look at Kenny and raised their eyebrows in confusion at him.  
  
"Kevin, why the hell did you dye your hair? You look like your brother." Mr. McCormick said.  
  
"Dad, it's me, Kenny." Kenny said.  
  
Mr. McCormick srcoffed, but Mrs. McCormick had a hopeful look on her face.  
  
"Kevin, don't try to pull that shit on us, you know damn well that Kenny is dead. Has been for the last eight fucking years." Mr. McCormick said.  
  
Kenny sighed. He was about to say something when Kevin walked into the room.  
  
"Dad, what are you talking about? Are you drunk, again? Nevermind, I already know the answer to that one. What the hell do you mean 'Kevin, why the hell did you dye your hair? You look like your brother.'? I didn't dye my hair and I'm not trying to pull anything." Kevin said.  
  
Mr. and Mrs. McCormick looked from Kevin to Kenny several times in surprise.  
  
"But, if you're here Kevin, then who the hell is this?" Mr. McCormick asked.  
  
"It's me, Kenny. Cartman managed to bring me back to life last night." Kenny said.  
  
"That's impossible! You can't be Kenny! Kenny died years ago of an illness! There's no fucking way in hell you could be Kenny!" Mr. McCormick exclaimed.  
  
Mrs. McCormick stood up and excamed Kenny carefully. Kenny noticed that she had put on a little weight and qurked an eyebrow.  
  
"Kenny, is that really you, honey?" Mrs. McCormick asked.  
  
Kenny smiled.  
  
"Yes mom. I'm alive again, thanks to Cartman." Kenny said.  
  
Mrs. McCormick burst into tears and hugged Kenny.  
  
"Oh, baby, I knew you'd come home someday!" Mrs. McCormick exclaimed.  
  
Kenny smiled and wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"Yeah right, you don't really believe that's Kenny, do you?!" Mr. McCormick exclaimed.  
  
Kevin shot an angry look at him, and then he approached Kenny and smiled.  
  
"Good to see you alive again, little brother. We've missed ya." Kevin said patting Kenny's back.  
  
"Thanks. I'm glad to see you too, big brother." Kenny said.  
  
Kenny let go of his mom and gave Kevin a hug.   
  
"How can you say that this isn't Kenny? Look at him. This is your son Mr. McCormick." Cartman said.  
  
"It's alright, Cartman. I know how to make him belive it really is me." Kenny said.  
  
Kenny walked up to his dad and whispered in his ear. Mr. McCormick's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Kenny smirked.  
  
"You believe me now, dad?" Kenny asked.  
  
"But… but, how?" Mr. McCormick asked.  
  
"I found a book of incantations that had a resurrection spell in it a while back. Last night I tried it out to see if it would work, and sure enough, it did." Cartman said.  
  
"We were shocked as well. We thought that Cartman was just making it up at first, but when we saw Kenny, we knew it was true." Kyle said.  
  
"Oh my god, I don't fucking belive this." Mr. McCormick muttered.  
  
Kenny sighed.  
  
"Mom, dad, Kevin, there's something I have to tell you guys." Kenny said.  
  
Everyone looked intently at Kenny waiting for him to continue. Took a deep breath and walked up to Cartman.  
  
"Well, last night after Cartman brought me back, I realized something." Kenny said.  
  
"What was it, Kenny?" Mrs. McCormick asked.  
  
Kenny bit his lip and held on to Cartman's hand tightly.  
  
"Cartman and I are gay. We're a couple now." Kenny said.  
  
Everyone's jaw dropped and Mr. McCormick stepped up to Kenny looking extremely pissed off.  
  
"What the fuck do you mean you're gay?! No son of mine is gonna be a little fairy ass fagot!" Mr. McCormick exclaimed.  
  
Mrs. McCormick stepped up to them and placed a supportive hand on Kenny's shoulder.  
  
"What's so wrong with him being gay, Stuart? What the hell's the big deal, I thought you didn't have anything against homosexuals?" Mrs. McCormick asked.  
  
"I don't have anything against other people being gay, but my son's not going to be that way!" Stuart exclaimed.  
  
"That's not your decision to make Stuart, its Kenny! It's he wants to be with a guy, that's fine with me. As long as he's happy, I don't give a damn what his sexual preference is!" Susan exclaimed.  
  
"Dammit Susan! Don't you realize that this means Kenny will never give us grand kids?" Sturat asked.  
  
"You apparently don't know the wonders of technology now a days, and anyway, Kenny could always adopt a kid." Susan said.  
"No little orfan kid is gonna be my grand kid!" Stuart exclaimed.  
  
Kevin sighed and walked up to his dad.  
  
"What the fuck is your problem, dad?! Are you worried you're not gonna have any real grand kids, is that it?! Well guess what, you are gonna be a grandfather in about five months!" Kevin exclaimed.  
  
"What?!" Stan and Kenny shouted in unison.  
  
"That's right Stan, I got Shelly pregnant. You and Kenny are gonna be uncles." Kevin said.  
  
Everyone looked at Kevin in shock.  
  
"Kevin, why didn't you tell us sooner?" Susan asked.  
  
"I wanted to wait until I could catch dad sober to tell you guys." Kevin said.  
  
"So that's why Shelly's been putting on weight! Oh my god! Is it a boy or a girl?" Stan asked.  
  
"It's a girl." Kevin said.  
  
Kenny and Stan looked at eachother and smiled.  
  
"Dude, we're gonna be brothers-in-law!" Stan exclaimed.  
  
"Kenny, there's something I have to tell you." Susan said.  
  
"What is it, mom?" Kenny asked.  
  
"Not only are you gonna be an uncle, but you're going to be a big brother as well." Susan said.  
  
Kenny jaw dropped.  
  
"I… I'm gonna be a big brother?" Kenny asked.  
  
"Yes, you're gonna have a little sister." Susan said.  
  
Kenny smiled.  
  
~A niece and a little sister… Wow, who knew? ~  
  
Stuart stared at his wife in shock.  
  
"You're pregnant?" Stuart asked.  
  
"Oh, don't tell me you haven't noticed, Stuart! I'm eating more than usual, and I haven't had a drop of alcohol in months! Plus, I've gained weight! How the fuck could you have not noticed?!" Susan exclaimed.  
  
"I… I…" Stuart's voice trailed off.  
  
Kenny smiled and put a hand on his mom's stomach. He started laughing when he felt the baby kick.  
  
"Hey, she likes me. She kicked me." Kenny said.  
  
Susan smiled.  
  
"Isn't this great, Stuart? We find out we're gonna have a granddaughter, a daughter, and we get our son back, all in one day!" Susan exclaimed.  
  
Stuart narrowed his eyes.  
  
"He's not my son. My son is dead. My son is no little fagot." Stuart said.  
  
Kenny felt a sting in his heart and he got teary eyed.  
  
"How can you say that, dad? Why is me being gay such a problem for you?!" Kenny Exclaimed.  
  
Cartman put an arm around Kenny's shoulder to try and calm him. Kevin balled his hands into fits.  
  
"So what if Kenny is gay?! I told you years ago that I was bisexual and you never gave me shit about it! Why is Kenny being gay such a big fucking issue?!" Kevin exclaimed.  
  
Kenny looked at his brother with a surprised look on his face.  
  
"You're bisexual, Kev? Does Shelly know?" Kenny asked.  
  
"Yeah, she knows. She doesn't really care either." Kevin said.  
  
Stuart turned his nose in disgust.  
  
"Great. Both of my sons are fagots." Stuart muttered.  
  
"Dad, why do you have to be such an asshole? Why can't youjust accept the fact I'm gay and be happy I'm alive?" Kenny asked.  
"Because, I didn't raise my sons to be fagots!" Stuart exclaimed.  
  
"Dad, your drinking really has fucked up your judgment, hasn't it?! You've never been this closed minded before!" Kenny exclaimed.  
  
Stuart stromed up to Kenny and back_handed across the face. Cartman punched in in the eye in retaliation.  
  
"Don't you dare lay your hands on him! Ever!" Cartman exclaimed.  
  
"Don't you tell me what to do, you little fagot!" Stuart exclaimed.  
  
"Stop calling them that!" Susan exclaimed.  
  
"Shut up. Susan!" Stuart exclaimed.  
  
"Don't yell at her, dad!" Kenny exclaimed.  
  
"You shut your fucking mouth! I'll yell at whoever I want!" Stuart exclaimed.  
  
"You've gone to gaddamn far with the drinking, dad! You were never this much of an asshole before!" Kenny exclaimed.  
  
"That's it! Get out! Get your little gay ass out of here and don't you fucking come back! For this, you should have just stayed dead!" Stuart exclaimed.  
  
Kenny balled his hands into fits, but fought the urge to knock his dad out.  
  
"Dammit Stuart! How could you do this toyour son?!" Susan exclaimed.  
  
"I have no son named Kenny. He died years ago." Stuart said.  
  
Stuart turned and left the room. Kenny lowered his head and began to cry softly. It wasn't the sting from the slap that hurt; it was his father's cruel words.  
  
"Don't worry Kenny, everything's gonna be alright." Susan said.  
  
Cartman wrapped Kenny in a protective hug and Kenny leaned his head on Cartman's shoulder.  
  
"I can't belive my own father would do this to me." Kenny muttered.  
  
"Don't worry, Kenny. If you want, you can come stay with me until your dad gets his head out of his ass and realize that what he's doing is wrong. You'll see, he'll eventually come around." Cartman said.  
  
Kenny smiled weakly.  
  
"Thanks Cartman." Kenny said.  
  
"Maybe staying with your boyfriend for now is the best thing to do. Come back later on when your father sobers up. He's out of liquer and beer, so he won't be drinking again for a while." Susan said.  
  
"Alright mom." Kenny said.  
  
Kenny gave his mom a hug and was about to walk out when a hand he felt a hand place itself on his shoulder. He turned around to find Kevin smiling at him.  
  
"Don't let dad's idiotic rambling get to you. He'll get over it. Just come by later on tonight. I'll bet you anything he'll probably forget everything by then." Kevin said.  
  
"Thanks Kev." Kenny said.  
  
Kenny, Cartman, Stan, and Kyle left. Stuart was who was watching from his bedroom window was starting to sober up. He looked at Kenny with a look of remorse.  
  
~My god, what have I done? I belittled, hit, and kicked my son out just because he's gay? Or was just the excuse I used because I'm still so fucking drunk?~  
  
Stuart looked at his bottle of Vodka that he had hidden away. He grabbed it, opened the window, and threw the bottle out. He watched as the bottle broke and shattered on the street. Kenny and the others heard the shattering noise and saw the broken bottle in the middle of the street. Kenny looked up to see his dad watching from the open window.  
  
~Maybe mom and Kevin are right. Maybe he will come around. I'll come back later and see. ~  
  
Kenny turned and continued to walk away. Stuart looked from him to the broken bottle.  
  
~Since when did I have anything homosexuals? Why should I have a problem with one of my sons being gay, and the other bisexual? Kenny's right, my drinking has gone way too far. I'm gonna have to get my ass in rehab. I don't want to lose my son over alcohol. ~   
  
Stuart sighed and turned away from the window. He layed down to sleep his drunken state away.  
  
~I hope it's not to late to make amends with my son. ~  
  
Those were Stuarts last thought as he drifted off to sleep 


End file.
